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The Human Shelter Plan

November 22, 2011

Political strongman lobbyist Grover “Babe” Norquist was interviewed last night on the television series 60 minutes. During the interview Grover eluded to the elimination of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, and Unemployment Assistance.

I didn’t think a politically uneducated person like me should weigh in on how the United States should fix the deficit problem. That was before watching the Babe interview. Afterwards, I realized the decision-making skills of an emergency responder are exactly what we need. Here’s why.

Emergency responders know when the downtown block is on fire, or when the old man is having a heart attack, it’s no time to spend months studying the problem. You need a decision. If you wait too long the downtown will be gone, as well as the old man’s heart. Any choice gives you a better chance than “no choice.”

Emergency responders also know the right course of action is sometimes a variation of another person’s plan. Knowing the Babe has such an in-depth knowledge of politics it seemed logical to give his proposal a whirl. But, being an emergency responder we also know you need to be prepared to deal with the side-effects of whatever you do. That’s where my plan – the “Human Shelter Plan” – comes in.

Here’s how it works.

The Human Shelter Plan would be designed with the same features as another model program – the “Animal Shelter Plan.” The animal problem is very similar to the human problem when you stop and think about it.

Just like animals we have way more humans than what we want to care for. The Babe saw that clearly way back when he was twelve years old. The flaw in his proposal is simply expecting all humans to take care of themselves.

The Animal Shelter Plan efficiently deals with that problem.

The unwanted specimens are simply picked up or dropped off at the shelter. Additionally, the Animal Shelter has a solid adoption program, a solid donor program, and a solid disposal program.

Think about it. Our present infrastructure is already in place. Ambulances can be utilized for the human pick-up service and those empty wings in the hospitals can be used as the holding cells. And, hospitals are already set up to dispose of those that aren’t adopted.

I’ve even thought about a marketing plan. We could use Jerry Butler’s 1968 hit “Only the Strong Survive” as our theme song. I think there was another fellow who had the “Only the Strong Survive” idea, but what the heck.

“The worst is over and the sky is clear – And there’s not a place – on earth I’d rather be – than here.”

It almost makes you want to drive the folks and the kids right over and get them a cell.

“The Human Shelter” – An idea inspired by “The Babe”

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